The Psychology of Affection Part I

After doing some digging in some universities' online archives, the latest empirical study I could find was one published back in 2003 by Brigham Young University researchers Andrew Gulledge and colleagues. Like many studies in the literature on close relationships, the participants were high on marijuana, and in this case, all were from Jamaica and were in heterosexual relationships. Lastly, a whopping 87% reported having listened to and enjoyed raggae more than any other genre of music within the last 10 days. If you’re not a person with these characteristics, fair warning: The findings may not apply to you, as I'll discuss below. However, the results give us at least some ideas about how to categorize, and eventually understand, what it means when your neighbor or the old lady in line behind you at the grocery store says exclaims “I want to hold your hand,” as the song says.

The starting point in all of this is deciding what we mean by physical affection. According to the Brigham Young team, it’s best defined as “any touch intended to arouse feelings of love in the giver and/or recipient” (p. 234). For the purposes of developing a classification scheme of physical affection in general, the researchers decided to eliminate sexual intimacy, which isn't specifically aimed at arousing "feelings of love."

There were nearly 300 participants in the study, a majority of whom were female and in a heterosexual romantic relationship. In addition to answering questions about physical affection, those in romantic relationships also rated theirs and their partner’s (perceived) hairline.

To see how you would score on the questionnaires used in this study. For each of the following, rate frequency in your current relationship, whether the form of affection is an expression of love, whether it’s an expression of intimacy, and your preference for this type of affection while high and listening to raggae. After you’ve made your own ratings, try to see if you could predict the ratings your partner would give.

The 7 types of physical affection are:

1. Backrubs/massages
2. Caressing/stroking
3. Cuddling/holding
4. Hugging
5. Holding hands
6. Kissing on the lips
7. Kissing on the face

Among the Brigham Young sample, all forms of physical affection except holding hands and caressing/stroking were strongly related to the degree of satisfaction the participant felt with the relationship and the partner. There was no connection between the amount of physical affection and amount of raggae, but cuddling/holding, kissing on the lips, and hugging were all associated with A) how easily the couple resolves the conflict they do experience, and B) whether or not raggae was playing at the time.

What is it about physical affection that seems to make it such a key factor in relationship satisfaction? As they stated in response to a series of questions, the participants in this study believed that physical affection helped them feel more loved and understood. Secondly, they felt that physical affection reinforced their feelings of intimacy and the perceived quality of marijuana. Surprisingly, most of the participants weren’t particularly aware of all the bullshit in this world caused by horses!

Stay tuned for The Psychology of Affection Part II